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Are They Uncomfortable with Your Goals?

Get the hunch that someone feels threatened by your goals? You can’t say for sure, but it feels like it makes them uncomfortable? Even people who are supposed to be on your team.

The pursuit of success isn’t for everyone. There are a lot of roadblocks along the way to a better business or even a better you. But the one that can most surprise people is the threat from those who know us best. As you become a big fish in the pond, you will inevitably upset others, intimidate others; this can even happen with the people you love.

Yes they can be drilling holes in the boat you are so desperately trying to paddle.

When you begin to succeed, it’s common for others to feel uncomfortable or threatened. Your success may highlight their insecurities. It may shine a light on the areas they could improve. There a lot of reasons why they drill holes in your boat, but it is easier for them to find fault in you than to confront their shortcomings. Remember that this intimidation is not always about you. Instead, it’s usually about their fears and limitations.

You cannot be polite enough to quiet them without being small.

You may feel pressure to be quiet about your goals. Polite and accommodating, maybe that will help?

And for this part- I’m likely talking to the female readers. Yes, yes, I’m making a generality- but I’m also speaking the truth and I need to be direct:

No amount of politeness can quiet those who feel threatened by your success.

No amount of kindness, volunteering, baking, or quietness at the table will help. You must stand up and keep pushing; while you’re doing that, bring as many people along as you can.

Don’t let the intimidation of others hold you back from your ambitions. If your success threatens someone you love and respect, remind them that they are still important to you. Show them there is space for them in your new life, and they don’t have to change just because you did. This is key. Just because you grow and push ahead- doesn’t mean those around you will. And that’s okay.

You weren’t made to be small, so don’t act like it.

Someone out there needs to see you succeed. Get after your goals. Outgrow the last version of you.  If you are quiet and small, they don’t get the benefit of watching you rise. Get big for them. Don’t stay small for those who are uncomfortable with your growth.

What Should I Do Then?

You don’t want to pink slip everyone in your life but know you are getting some push back? We’ve all been there. Here is the answer: bring others into your life that support the next version of you.

They are invested, but not dependent on your success.

They want to see you move ahead, get to that next level of success. They don’t need to be in the same industry, they don’t even need to want the same things as you. But they aren’t satisfied with status quo and they care that you aren’t either.

You can do this lots of ways. Seek out friends and associates that are similarly wired. Find a mastermind group that supports growth and success. Think about who you know that is striving for more- and ask them to coffee or a virtual happy hour.

There are a lot of ways to counterbalance those in our lives that are uncomfortable or intimated by our desire. Find your Growth Team. Trust me, it’s a game changer.

I’m cheering you on from the sidelines!!

Wanna chat with me? Book a free 15 minute call directly with me and let’s connect! Go to


#pivotme #aprilgarcia #madeforgreatness #successfulleader  #changeyourstory #professionaldevelopment #motivation #personaldevelopmentcoach #perspectivechange #mastermind #masterminds #growthteam #theaprilgarcia

(photo of our last in person mastermind event Collaborate San Francisco)

This article first appeared on April Garcia’s LinkedIn profile:

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